Archive for the Uncategorized Category

I’m Not Dead!

Posted in Uncategorized on July 1, 2010 by talesandtallies

I have to be the worst blogger in the history of blogville! I am sooooo sorry. I took a break off for my exams and I forgot my password afterwards. Who does that happen to? *sigh* I have a lot in store for you this week…. I am so back! I missed you all. Been reading the blogs but I couldn’t drop a comment because of this password issue. Google have finally restored my account!Phew….

I shall be on a commenting spree in the next few weeks. SO grateful to all those who checked up on me. I hope I haven’t been deleted off your blogrolls?If you have deleted me, you have two days to fix it o…. Hehe! Lots of gist on the way! Love you all… 😀


B for Bezerk!

Posted in Uncategorized on November 9, 2008 by talesandtallies

I had a completely unnerving weekend after being unable to reach B. A myriad of feelings had me in bounds, mostly resulting from the guilt of my previous actions. I was more mad at myself than I was at him for not calling. I took a brief second to understand why I did this and had to admit it was not my finest hour. He never pushed me to do it,I pushed myself to be this star girlfriend. I felt like I needed to disappear from myself, I couldn’t live with this feeling.

There so many parties that were hosted this weekend and I found no incentive to attend, even as a means for me to unwind. I lay on my pillow and basked in my thoughts. If this was the end for us, I had to brace myself for it. Sooner had I let my thoughts drift than I fell asleep. I woke up in the middle of the night to turn off my room lights and lock the door. My phone fell to the ground. That’s when I remembered how I fell asleep.I started fumbling to put it back together curios to see if B had called. He had, seven times. I could literally have beat myself up at this point for sleeping so heavily. It was frustrating to know that the call I had waited for all weekend came in seven times!And I couldn’t even call back because my credit account was totally debased with all the messages I left on his voicemail. I reached for my laptop quickly typing in my password when I saw 41 messages in my inbox.

The number 40 became a fast favorite in the preceding hours, associating all I could with it. What kind of woman I would be at 40 years of age, If he would call in the next 40 minutes or even 40 more minutes after that. Or maybe he would call after I played our song 40 times, because he had heard me cry my heart out with that music. I counted backwards from 40 too. If there was anything I was sure of then, it was the fact that I had waited the previous night in vain. But this morning, it was 41… and a smile briefly lit my face. I proceeded to open my messages hurriedly as if I was in a crunch for time. With my heart in my throat, I certainly thought the internet connection was crippling.

I closed all the damn windows that were open and all other applications running just to see if the page could load any faster. My fingers were trembling so loud they made their own music on the keyboard. The air conditioner was working properly, but my body was still working up an uneasy sweat. In this moment, I cursed all the makers of browsers. The page finally loaded. I looked up to the last message received and it was my daily horoscope subscription. I was in no mood for astrology, my mind reacted with almost an instant misology. I couldn’t have been any more bezerk!

*misology: hatred of ideas, logic
*astrology:claiming divination by the positions of the planets and sun and moon

T & T


The show must go on

Posted in Uncategorized on November 5, 2008 by talesandtallies

My fear of being discovered has outshone my bravery. I think someone has figured me out already. I came across a blog that I felt was being addressed to me.  Maybe I need to go away and come back as another person or never come back at all. All my previous posts are private until I figure out the best way to tackle this. It might just be an itchy conscience, but things like this are not taking for granted.

I promise you I’m never truly gone because the show must go on.


Posted in Uncategorized on October 31, 2008 by talesandtallies

This is a nigerian blogger who was recently arrested. Please Join the Rally to ensure that justice is served.

Check for more details

I feel…

Posted in Uncategorized on October 5, 2008 by talesandtallies

I feel that each time I call and I don’t get you, I am reminded of how distant your are from me.

Each time you ask me to call makes me feel like I have all the responsibilities on my shoulder.

I feel that I have waited long enough to see you laugh, cry, smile, joke sleep and all the usual stuff people take for granted, and I am still waiting.

I may have given my heart out to a total stranger, but how do I choose who I fall for.

I feel that no matter what anyone says or does, I am thinking with my heart right now to do what’s best for us. Not because I am stubborn, but because I maybe too much in love.

I feel that you may be too ‘right’ a boyfriend it feels almost wrong to have you.

I feel I maybe making a premature commitment by promising to love you forever, not because I don’t love you now but because you may not love me tomorrow.

I feel cheated out of the life I would have had If you were not here but also sold into the idea of having you forever.

I feel exactly what people feel about their ex’s, having loved and lost, I fear that may happen to me.

I feel if I shall lose you soon, then please come at a later time when I shall have the strength to try not to lose you.

I feel I have committed all of me into us, and if it doesn’t work, I will not be willing to give it a second shot.

I feel loved, undeservingly, and I may never be sure that you yourself deserve me, when there is no ‘us’.

But I Care…
because of all the things I feel, I’m not sure if I should give up on this love.


Z: That fateful night…

Posted in Uncategorized on October 5, 2008 by talesandtallies

Cont. from a previous post
***Fast-forward a few months later and frequent phone calls mostly from him, we were both in the same town.

He invites me for his sister’s wedding which I show up for without hesitation. And If I may so myself, I looked good! He later informed me on how everyone was complimenting my look at the wedding and inquiring about my identity. He was more than thrilled to have been seen with me. He came to my house a few more times in the absence of my very strict father.

On this particular night, I was feeling like a risque specialist and decided to spend time alone with him in his car. My love for taking rides under the night sky with the city lights shining got the best of me. We were able to go to a few spots, enjoy the wonderful views and get a parking space around the corner. The plan was to gist about nothing in particular at all(as an aside, he is not good at holding conversations). As it turned out, more happened that night. He started to flirt with me heavily, saying even less and acting more. He flicked the hair behind my hair and let his hand linger for a bit as he briefly touched me. I wasn’t completely ignorant of the fact that this was gonna happen, knowing well he could melt like butter If I complied with him. Complied I did, after a little contemplation. Not that him breathing against my ear and the nape of my neck helped.

I tried to resist, muttering these words gently; “Please, I can’t do this… not now, just don’t”. He teasingly replied, “do what?”, pretending not to know what effect he was having on me despite my protests.
“Don’t do whatever this is … whatever we’re doing, or about to do”, I stammered. “It’s just really complicated right now, I’m going through a break up”
“So what…?Its not like I’m doing anything”. He kept his gaze on me as I looked away. I really wanted him to stop but I couldn’t help my self because brushing his lips on neck and behind my ear was ‘Oh so tempting!’. He turned my face towards him and headed for the big dive. He kissed me, I pulled back at first and then we kissed some more. After taking a break to catch our breath, we suddenly realized that the front sit would be slightly uncomfortable for the next line of action. He suggested and I nodded. I gleefully jumped to the back seat without thinking to maybe use the door, he followed suit. He leaned in to finish up what he had started, but my older cousin beat him to it.

I picked up the phone with disgust to hear the other caller’s voice say it was too late for me to stay outside, I needed to go back home. We relocated to our previous positions with his eyes on the road and mine focused on my side of the window. I could swear the ride back home was longer(including fact that we used the express highway and there was no traffic).

For the most part, it was uncomfortable as no words were shared. If any were, they might have been irrelevant or I was too bothered about the aftermath of my actions to remember. As he dropped me off at home, we shared a hug and parting pleasantries. I walked to my gate slowly with my head down, almost missing his wave as he drove off.

In that moment, all my thoughts came into coherence. I realized my folly to have led him on. I knew Z was not the kind of guy to give up so easily. He didn’t before, why would he now? Was that wave symbolic of some assurance that I just gave him?some kind of new found confidence that we could have something more? If only he knew that this night meant nothing to me, except confirming that in fact, I had no feelings for him whatsoever.

How I met this nagger

Posted in Uncategorized on October 5, 2008 by talesandtallies

This guy I am going to write about, lets call him Z. He is a nagger!

Me and Z had something going on sometime last year, at about the time I was in a very confused state of my life. Well, we met randomly at a party and I could tell I caught his eye. The party was for a little cousin of mine and expectantly, it was full of two or three year olds. Seeing there was nothing more to do than to chaperon little kids, I decided to indulge in a game of ‘catch-him-glancing’.

Z was so bad at this, I, an expert… Its a no-brainer that his eyes were fixated on me the entire night. I won! I thought he would get my number by the end of the night, but sadly, he didn’t. I moved on to more important things like getting other guys to hit on me because

a) I am not an attention seeker, but I do love to flaunt myself every once in a while.
b) Z was just staring at me, say something… dammit!
c) Another cute guy or two seemed to want my attention and were chatting me up

He and my uncle who accompanied to the party seemed to have the same interests however, as they chatted a way freely.My uncle is only in his late 20’s and a few years older than Z. They were able to exchange numbers before we left the party.

“Thank God!”, I breathed a sigh of relief. At least, all hope is not lost.

A couple of weeks later, I ran into my uncle chatting with Z on the phone. Knowing fully well the consequences of my next action, I asked that my regards be sent to Z. Give him a few minutes after that conversation and my phone was ringing. I picked up with an innocent voice and recognized Z’s voice almost immediately.

me: Hello?
Z: Hey, wassup
… Am speaking to [But-I-Care] right?
me: Yes, who is this? [Having a hunch that he was the one but still playing dumb]
Z: It’s me, Z. I just got your number from your uncle.
me: what Z?[I love playing amnesia!]
Z: At the party, you remember? You were with your uncle, It was at this venue and at that time. [I didn’t expect him to give a full description!]
me: Oh, its you Z1 I was just telling my uncle to send you my regards. It has really been a while. How are things?
Z: Well, they are good. I just went back to school. I’m glad I finally got your number, I couldn’t forgive myself for letting you leave the party without getting it. Been thinking about you all through.
me: Why didn’t you then?Get the number, I mean…
Z: You were looking too darn good and I was shy.
me: Oh *sigh*, I thought I was unapproachable [Like I care, at least he noticed me]
Z: Not at all, I didn’t know what to say to you.
[Whew!At least no we’re talking about something]