Archive for the Reflections Category

Walk the Line

Posted in Boyfriend, Reflections, Relationship with tags , on November 12, 2008 by talesandtallies

I found something decent to wear, it was about 4.30 but the darkness still hung in the sky. I walked out into this cold, cold night. It was quiet, the whole school had gone asleep!Heck, I thought the whole world was asleep except mine; It was facing a nightmare of its own. The  Street lights were on,  but I preferred walking on the dimly lit side walks. My head tilted down, phone in hand with ear piece connected. Set it to flight mode and began listening to the music.

I reached a junction with two turns, one was pitch dark and the other a straight road with lights shining brightly. I observed my shadow in this light. There were three. For the first time I reckoned they accompanied me from my dorm. I agreed with myself that I needed to see a doctor; I must be crazy to have a soliloquy with my own shadows. I didn’t notice the guard walk in my direction; his voice startled me.

“Are you ok?” he asked.

“Yeah”, I said.

He had been observing me from a distance all the while; “You were talking to yourself just now”.

“No, no… I was just singing and I paused to change the track” I lied. I had been thinking out loud about seeing the doctor, I hope he didn’t hear it. But if he did, he could quickly convince himself that he was simply reading my thoughts or he never saw me this night.

I thanked him and walked away quickly in the other direction. I felt him staring at me in disbelief under the lights and with an aura of fear, I hastened my steps.I stole a few glances over my shoulder until he turned around to walk back; then I slowed down to catch my breath. I continued to walk in the middle of this road blinded by the night, afraid to fall but wouldn’t let myself stop.

All the feelings I witnessed on this walk were synonymous with my relationship. It was the longest walk of my life but I sought solace in thinking the end was near. Just like I thought B would be here soon as he promised the last time we spoke, adding how much he loved me. My doubts rested on how often I believed in the word soon and it never came through because he still wasn’t here.  I really could have gone the easy way with a making a commitment to either of Tom, Dick and Harry, each in close proximity. But I didn’t.  Instead, I chose to walk the line.

B’s text came in shortly as I switched my phone off flight mode. This line read; “Are we over already?”.