Aftermath?…Numb

“I don’t know, Are we?”, I replied.

He called back almost immediately as if he had been waiting for some sort of signal. He expressed his bitterness about I cutting off all communication from him when he needed me the most. I complained about the sudden silence and being unable to reach him. I complained about leaving him messages that were never returned. I complained about the loss of contact and how I regretted missing his calls. It seemed like he wasn’t ready to have any of that.

After a few minutes of arguing with him, I just blurted it out. “If you are so unhappy with me, or you don’t see how much effort I am putting into this as well… then for what it’s worth, why are you still with me?”

“Are you saying you don’t want us to see each other again?”, he said after a moment of silence.

“I don’t know, you were the one that wanted to break up with me” I admitted in a disgusted tone of voice. He sent that text, didin’t he?I never thought we would have any issues that would warrant such a message. But he cut me short before I could drive home my point.

” I never looked at the semi-nude pictures you sent me because I was waiting to appreciate you in person. I only mentioned it to hear your opinion, not for you to oblige. I went to see my mother over the weekend which is why you couldn’t reach me for a while. I had a minor accident on my way back, but it was just a few bruises. I also met with one of your ex’s at my mother’s. Apparently, his mother and mine used to be colleagues.”

He paused for a bit and continued. “You just sound different, like you’re ready for something else. I will always love you though.”

Phone went dead, before I could utter anything meaningful. He probably didn’t want me defending myself. Given the chance, I’m not sure I would have.

It was sad; what he made mention of tugged at my heart.I however did not cry, go hysterical or react in an overly emotional way after he hung up. I was still numb.

Our anniversary is only a couple of days away; this simply confirms the jinx that I can never be in a relationship for more than six months.

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68 Responses to “Aftermath?…Numb”

  1. First!

    Na wa for all this back and forth o! Is this dude someone you can have a face to face conversation with? If so, do away with Technical glitches, and have a physical convo with him, and sort it out. I’m not one for back and forth. I’d rather have it all out it in the open, at once, else I won’t be able to sleep until I get to the bottom of stuff.

    I wish you guys all the best!

  2. hey hon, i hope all will be well with you 2 and as Nefertiti says is there a way for face2face, that would make it all so much easier…nway you’re not jinxed hon and it shall be aiight

  3. Oh my dear its not the end..end…end is it? H e says he still loves you. I think is all a misunderstanding. Nefi is right, speak to him face to face. Over the phone you can’t see someone expression, you cant feel the others emotion.

  4. Finally i find a link to ur blog. For some reason whenever u comment on my blog, there’s never a link to get to ur blog. Anyway, i haven’t even read the post.

    Ok, after reading the post, i can sense some mind games going on. Which kind of breaking up is that? If u still want him, why don’t u call him and have a mature conversation about the whole thing? shikena?

  5. I agree with Shona Vixen. Maybe you could find a way to talk face to face because texts and phone calls often lead to misinterpretations. Dont call it quits just yet:-)

  6. My dear, i agree with kookie, i dont believ its the end, i think you guys should hook up face to face and short out the issue…i wish you the best too

  7. truthmasta Says:

    Don’t worry you’ll be fine. See? I’m nice today.

  8. he’s odd.
    mixed signals are never a good thing. it’s like he likes you but he doesnt wanna be with you, but he doesnt want to break your heart.
    it’s hard.

  9. My dear, it isn’t the end o, I had and argument like this once sha, both of you should just breathe but don’t cut everything off completely, it’s for the best dear

    xxx

  10. i with shonavixen and NDQ…talk face to face

  11. are u kidding me right now?????????? I AGREE WIV EVRYONE THO…THIS SITUATION CAN ACTUALLY BE SORTED OUT……..both of u just need to determine if its worth working out!!!! ohh ma goooosh babe…..i dnt even knu wot to say to u……surely this isnt hw it is supposed to end!
    p.s:xoxo

  12. its just so much we dont know about relationships

    ive been studying this stuff for a while and i still make lots of mistakes

    c’set la vie

  13. Awww, don’t say that- the jinx thing, It only happens because you believe in it.
    Relationships are quite difficult they require a lot of patience and communication from both parties………..I hope you guys sort things out, There isn’t anything major about your fight, it’s only a case of improper communication.

  14. T&T, you’ve been showing love during my own difficult times and now boo and I are sorted.

    This was quite rash, quick! Improper communication like siruis said. I hope everything will be well soon.

    Take some time to chill then figure the best way to communicate with him and tell him how YOU feel. He loves you and you like/care about him so what the heck y’all should better figure out your issues oh! It makes me sad when a couple who care aabout each other are not together.

    Be patient dear! E go better and my therapy is always to pray!

  15. mii i don’t know what you should do
    i have no experience in this area
    but i’ll say this BE TRUE TO YOU

  16. Now sis, you need to be as cool as ever with him at least for the sake of the anniversary. Sometimes such little matters test the strength of your relationship. Be open to him and let him know every tiny feeling you’ve got about him in there and i guess things would work out much better. Now what do I feel like right now? A shrink? lol. Tkia

  17. Its a pity this is a long distance relationship..

    That was rather odd..u really do have to talk, what if theres somn to salvage?

    Its ok to cry sweetie, really.

    I wish u all the best.

    *hugs*

  18. dont assume that because the line cut he dropped the phone on u..it is possible the connection went bad…

    there is still hope..and if u believe ur relationship wont last more than six months it probably won’t so you need to change your thinking and take this to the lord in prayer.

  19. Gal I’m echoing aloted all the way…chin up!

  20. maybe u should call him! Tell him how u feel and dts if you still wanna be with him.

  21. Have all ur other relationships been long distant ones too?
    Because this long distance thing may the jinx factor

    Besides, I think ur relationships are short-lived because you expect them to. Start expecting them to last…i believe u’ll see a change

  22. Noooo, it can’t be over!! Babe, Nefertiti said it best really. If you can see him face to face, then do. Don’t let it end like this – unless you want it to. Don’t say you can’t be in a relationship for more than 6 months. You’re jinxing yourself oo. Talk 2 him, please.

  23. dont say jinx!!! If u say it den u will continue to walk in dat shadow. Relationships r sooooooo tricky. I broke up like 6 times in d 2 yrs while dating but guess who i married….HIM! I wldnt av tot. Now in ur situation, to echo everyone i say a face to face, without dis den u might as well b dating a ghost. I hope u can both bring urself to try meeting and see how tins go from dere, even if its just for freindship sake. Takia.

  24. well, i don’t know d full story so it’s going to be hard to make a wholesome contribution. but am sure it’s something u guys can sort out. maybe he’s pissed off about something. but i’d say don’t consider breakup until he has specifically stated so

  25. LDRs are really more stressful than other relationships, and every argument doesnt have to end up in a break up. i suggest you talk this over, and stop using the break up line at every argument.

    ok, i’m going to catch up on ur other posts!

  26. why do i have a feeling its not over yet?or maybe cos i dont know the commplete story….

  27. Hey, u ok??

  28. Thanks for stopping by my blog.
    I appreciate your comments.

    I have read your post. Just talk, I find that talking makes things better and helps us understand the other person. I think you’ll be find.

  29. T&T, how are you? Cheer up ok?

  30. Are you alright, girl? It is well! Cyber hugs to you.

  31. truthmasta Says:

    Update girl. Lets know how u r faring. This silence is not good o.

  32. This scenerio has played out so many times in my life it’s not funny. I can so relate to this on so many levels.

    I hope you are doing ok.

  33. i dont like the word jinx. why cant ur relationships last longer then six months? pls kill such thoughts ok? u r good.

  34. Hey…hope u will be alright

  35. Dearie luv!!!! Where art thou?

  36. T and T lovey, are u ok babe!

  37. FreeMan Press Says:

    Just found your blog so I’ll check back.

  38. CALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL HIM AND STOP BEING NUMB!!!

    CALL HIM!!!

  39. The only thing I want to say is that you should forget about jinxes. They are superstitious. Who says you cannot be in a relationship for more than six months? Try and work things out and if things dont work out please move on.
    Thanks for stopping by my blog. Yeah, I know that was a long time ago. I was AWOL but I’ve updated now.

  40. ok..I’m not sure I know the whole story ‘cos I’ve only read this post and the previous one but honestly, with the exception of him possibly being the not-so-rational, sensitive type, it really seems to me that this dude is baiting you. “Are we over already” , “Are you saying you donโ€™t want us to see each other again?”, “You just sound different, like youโ€™re ready for something else. I will always love you though.” – all those lines paint the picture of a guy who doesn’t have the heart/cajones to break up with you himself and is thus trying to goad you into cutting him loose.

    I’m not the best relationship counsellor but seriously, this dudes words seem terribly nuanced. I mean with all the ignoring your calls, and applying reverse psychology with the accident thing, and equivocating about whether or not you’re over, and hanging up before you have a chance to defend yourself…come on, even if I’m wrong, you don’t seem like the type that can take all these mind games so you really need to get him to define whatever it is you guys have. Don’t let him toy with your emotions…you’ll suffer for it if you do.

    There comes a time when you need to love with your head and not your heart…and I think this is one of those times. Forgive me for taking up all this space, but this dude is really annoying. Personally I think you should cut him loose.

  41. Ok so I am back. I am really worried! Darling just tell us you are ok. shogbo! here is a Temite kiss. I am threatening to come up here everyday to give you a Temite kiss until you get back. OK! I will do it o! Shey you are daring me? ehn? OK then it is on!

  42. Na dont say that- u are not jinxed. The way i look at it. It’s better to be in a relationship for 6m or less and it ending rather than be in it for years and it leading no where. Trust me 6m relationship is a lot easier to get over than a 6yr relationship. I hope things work out with this guy. ๐Ÿ™‚

  43. You shall be okay!!!!!!!!
    IF YOURE NOT OKAY NOW
    you will be!!
    it’ll pass ..it’llpass it’ll passs!!

    you’ll be fine ๐Ÿ™‚

  44. sweetieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!

  45. girrrrrrrrrrrl…I HAVE BEEN COMING BACK OOO……..UR SILENCE IS VERYYYYY…..*sigh*
    p.s: hope ur good…xoxoxooxoxxooxoxoxoxoxo

  46. Knock Knock, Where is she that lives here?

  47. it sounds lyk there’s stil somuch left 4 u guys. i think this is sumtn u can sort out nd move n with him from.

  48. do you still love him? is there any future in it? if there is, be honest and work at it. if not, cut him loose.

  49. hey, where are you? Happy new year. Let us know if you are okay, alright?

  50. Hmmm… Hopefully, there are no major outstanding issues per this subject??? Holla at your peeps we need to know you’re ok aight?

  51. TandT, How nau? haven’t heard from you in a while, just thot to say hi, and we miss us up in here.

  52. Girlfrnd…where art thou?

    Merry Christmas!

    Happy New Year!

    Happy Vals!

  53. I am reading your blog posts for a long time and this is my first comment at your blog because i like the post ๐Ÿ™‚ Please keep it up.

  54. Thanks for the post, it was a nice reading, i like it.

  55. Baby where u at????

  56. Great stuff. Nice to read some well written posts. A long way between them.

  57. Hopefully Love,the outcome of this emotional ride which you were a passenger,can only be for the best….

    Just wondering if you are okay…..I Care…
    If this is something that could be sorted out…,which after reading previous posts it may be….i trust that you have taken steps towards repairing the broken connection,or whatever brought this to be…And if it isn’t you are realising you did what was in your power to do…Hope everything is going good…

  58. you can be in one for longer than that

    but you better learn how to deal with men better than that chica ๐Ÿ™‚

  59. Hmm..well maintained blog here ๐Ÿ™‚

  60. I found your blog on google and read a few of your other posts. I find your Blog very informative just added you to my Google News Reader. Keep up the good work. Look forward to visiting your site more often in the future.

  61. I really liked your blog! Bookmarked for future references

  62. Great information and great site, I have added this to my favorites, do you have an rss feed I can subscribe too?

  63. Man, I could have stood to read even more. I was seriously into the story. Advice? Try not to think of the glass as being half empty. It could be half full.

    My two cents.

  64. I keep checking back trying to see what happened?

  65. […] This story continues from this post. […]

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